Feeling weird today...

...and not exactly sure why either. It's been one of those days I guess. Maybe the sweltering heat is the culprit; then again, maybe it's just me.

So much for not being led by my feelings. It's like I'm being hit with another onslaught of emotions-- all different and all intense at the same time. I seriously could burst into tears right now, but I'm holding it in as hard and as tight as I can. Crying certainly won't solve anything.

I think I woke up today feeling out of sorts. To start with I always "strive" to get up early, to make time for doing little things around the house like taking care of my laundry or cleaning, or organizing the tornado-stirred mess of a room that Chechu and I are technically sharing. But, alas, my finger always manages to find the 5-more-minutes button on my alarm, causing "just five more minutes" to turn into another half hour and in the end I get up late along with the rest of the españoles, con la hora pegada al culo as they so eloquently say.
Needless to say this morning was no different. To make matters worse I've been struggling with a scratchy throat for the past couple of days which I can't seem to shake. I think all of the second-hand smoke that I've been forced to inhale at work is the culprit, and it's really starting to piss me off. On top of that I leave the office smelling like an ashtray every day, which is irritating enough as it is. Smoking is such a dirty, selfish and invasive habit. I swear smokers should be banished to another planet where they can happily burn out their own lungs without endangering on anyone else's.

Both of the girls that I work with are dying to go on vacation, and I can't say that I blame them. But the constant complaining does take its toll on a person. The two of them b & m together about everything pertaining to this job, particularly the fact that they haven't been given vacation time yet, but as soon as Avelino crosses the threshold you can hear a pin drop. Typical boss-employee stuff, I guess. I'm almost positive that once August comes around I'll be the only one here twiddling my thumbs, which is perfectly fine by me.

On Sunday when we were in Granada, Mª Ángeles asked Chechu and me to sing a song for her and Curro at their wedding. Chechu thought of "You Raise Me Up" as a good choice, and today I found the Spanish version, Por Ti Seré, on the internet. We tweaked the lyrics around a little since they were a bit worldly, and Chechu downloaded a couple instrumental tracs for us to practice with. This afternoon while I was at home we went through it a couple of times, and honest to goodness I felt so embarrassed singing with him because he's light years in talent ahead of me. After a couple run throughs, I was so close to throwing in the towel, but knowing that Mª Ángeles asked us both to sing together kept me from doing so. I think my voice is all right and I'm certainly not tone-deaf, but the fact that I have no power behind it makes it sound that much worse compared to Chechu's voice. So all I can do is pray and ask God to bless me and grant me the ability to pull this off.
I remember the prophetic word that Chechu and I got at Christmas last year, that we would sing together in ministry. I think of that and I see myself where I am now and I wonder how that could possibly come to pass. But I don't have to know, all I have to do is believe God and know that if He said it, then He'll do it.

I got a birthday card from Mom today, and I was glad to get it. I do miss home though, and I miss my family terribly.