Another week of emotions

I'm starting to get tired of the up and down emotional roller coaster that I've been on for the past week or so. It's ridiculous how one minute I'll be happy and carefree and then, literally, the next minute I'm a ball of nerves. I'm sure that it's all normal, considering that there's a wedding in the wings, but nonetheless I feel emotionally drained. There has been so much change in my life over such a short period of time and I'm still adjusting to it all. As thankful as I am for everything that God has given me on this new journey, it scares me sometimes to think that things really aren't going to be as they once were. There are moments where I feel like I'm alone here, even though I know that I'm not literally by myself. This is the first time that Chechu and I have actually been together for longer than three months and we're still getting to know each other's habits and personalities, a process that is sure to continue for some time.

I just read and email from Marissa where she spoke about God convicting her on her attitude about having a servant's heart. She said that she gave her testimony during yesterday's bible study and that she got embarrassed because she got emotional as she was speaking. Little does she know that what she shared with me has opened my eyes as well about my servant's heart, or lack thereof these days. I admit that I've held some resentment in my heart about being here in Almeria. I've felt like between me and Chechu I've been the one to sacrifice everything- leaving my home, my family, my language behind to come to another place and, with the exception of the language barrier, essentially start from scratch. Chechu on the other hand gets to enjoy living in his hometown, surrounded by his family, friends and church that he's grown up with his entire life.

My attitude has been wrong. Instead of having a servant's heart, I've expected servitude. I know that this all forms part of God's plan for my life, and that I'm here on purpose.