Sigh...

Yesterday was a great day.



I got up around 8:15am, and without even thinking about it I put my workout clothes on and put in my TJ dvd. I was excited to work out, and even more excited about how I was going to feel afterwards. As I expected, my shower was fantastic, leaving me feel even more motivated to start the work day. I had a very productive morning at the office and on my way back home for lunch I convinced myself that regardless of how much I wanted to take a nap I was going to stay up and do some other things around the house. After we ate (roasted chicken, rice and black beans, salad) Chechu went directly to the bedroom to lay down. I mulled it over for a while and decided that I was going to stick to my original plan. I really wanted to sleep, but I didn't. I ended up washing the dishes from lunch and doing some other light cleaning to keep myself awake. After having a small cup of coffee I went back to the office early just to eliminate any temptation to sneak in a quick cat nap.



I got back home from work just after 9pm. And what did I do? I worked out AGAIN. I happily put in my TJ dvd again and sweat my you-know-what off. I was on fire. And it felt great.



This morning, however, I got an unexpected surprise. I wanted to sneak a peak at the scale, just to see if I lost, you know, 10 pounds after my two workouts yesterday. To my dumbfounded surprise, however, I didn't lose a single one. Not ONE. I'm still at 222.8 pounds, and yes, I'm pissed about it. While I understand that weight loss can be sporadic at times, regardless of how much or how minimal of an effort I make to exercise, it still sucks to put in work and not see any results.



This morning after my encounter with the scale I had a small cup of coffee and Danacol for breakfast. Chechu (not Marianna this time) opened the pack of Tosta Rica cookies and I didn't have ONE. I feel pretty good about that because those are definitely a weakness of mine. The hard part of course will be seeing the now-open box and keeping my mits out of it.



Keeping things on the positive, in spite of the let-down this morning, I am happy about a few things:

• I'm going to exercise my butt off (literally) from now on. In the past, disappointments like this would have led me to another binge. Today I choose to channel that energy positively and make decisions that will benefit my health. Let's face it, exercise has never made anyone fat. Donuts and embarrassingly huge spoonfuls of peanut butter however...


• I'm going to make good food choices. This morning's cookie refusal has motivated me even more to do well today. The hard part, as usual, will come around 10pm tonight when I have to decide between the lomo (cured porkloin) and a bowl of sugarless Special K. Or better yet, nothing at all.


• I'm not going to give up. Frankly, I feel hugely obese today. I feel like I can't fit in anywhere and regardless of what I wear or how much I try to cover it up, my ass is just insane. It has to call attention to itself. Nevertheless, I'm not going to allow those feelings to fool me into thinking that a bag of doritos and white chocolate are going to make me feel better or thinner. That would really be insane.