I Miss Too

The lovely Alli has inspired me to post a similar "I Miss" list to remind myself of what I had when I was thinner and why I'm so ready to get it back. It's crazy to think that this will be my third time losing a significant amount of weight:

• (1)When I started highschool at 14 I weighed over 200 pounds. During my freshman year I lost between 40-45 pounds and I maintained that more or less through my senior year. I was about 160 when I graduated.
• The college years. Starting weight: 160ish. By the end of my junior year I had ballooned back up to about 220-225.
• (2)My academic year abroad in the DR (2001-2002). I've briefly mentioned some of the huge challenges I faced weight-wise during my stay in Santo Domingo. I was 21 at the time, it was my first time traveling abroad and I was scared as hell. Thankfully my sister shared the experience with me and to make a long story short, we went through a lot that year. I arrived there at about 230 pounds. Nine months later I was down to 150.
• (3)Post-undergrad years to the present. After coming back home from the DR I gained back all of the weight I had lost over the course of a year. That showed me that during my time abroad, I really didn't make it a point to learn new eating and exercise habits and let them sink into my normal routine. I was totally out of my comfort zone and I desperately needed to lose weight in order to have basic, everyday things (like not being charged double for public transportation because I took up a seat and a half). I let all of that propel me into an obsession with weight loss. While that did yield quick results, it didn't solve my issues with food. I was only placing a band-aid over my problems instead of learning a healthy lifestyle.

So that leads me to where I am today. Over the past 5 years I've more or less stayed in the 200s, reaching my highest weight of 240 during my first year of grad school. This time around I'm learning to manage food and embrace a healthy lifestyle. In doing so, the weight will come off. I'm not interested in quick fixes; I want long-term results, and I never want to see these numbers again.

My goal weight is 150 pounds. I have a bigger frame, and I think any weight smaller than that would make me look sickly. I've always found curvier women to be so much more beautiful than super skinny girls, and150 pounds on my frame looks good- slender with all the curves my husband loves and pleads with me not to lose. (Side note: My husband and I primarily speak in Spanish, and he is currently learning English. He's improved by leaps and bounds since we first met, and from time to time we go over American slang and cultural expressions. Okay, and maybe a few bad words here and there. Anyway, last weekend we happened to come across Sir Mix-Alot's video of "Baby Got Back" on YouTube, which he thought was great, lol! So now he goes around the house singing "I...Like...Big.. ButtsAndICanNotLie" in his cute Spanish accent. The man cracks me up!)

So this is my motivation:

1. Having more self-confidence.
2. Going shopping to buy the clothes that I like in the styles that I want. Not just buying whatever fits.
3. Being able to walk long distances without getting irritation rashes on my inner thighs from too much friction.
4. Sitting in public places confidently (restaurants, airplanes, buses) without worrying that I'm taking up too much space.
5. NO HEALTH ISSUES
6. No muffin top
7. Seeing my jaw line in side-profile shots
8. Looking younger
9. Feeling good about losing weight and inspiring others to reach their goals
10. Moving around with more agility and feeling like I can take on the world.