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Ironically enough, I had some punctuality issues of my own yesterday.

1. Rocío and I agreed to set the time for our GOE back at 4pm on Wednesday. However, there was a misunderstanding on my part as to the actual start time for this week. I had understood that she'd be picking up one of the ladies who's been coming regularly at 4:30 like she'd been doing, and then from there the two of them would come back to the church for our study. She told me to be at the church by 4 to wait for them, which didn't make any sense to me. So rather than showing up at 4 to waste a half hour sitting by myself, I rolled in at about 4:15. To my surprise Rocio was already there waiting for me, and was pretty irritated herself about my tardiness. Before going out to evangelize she prayed for the meeting, and also started praying against apathy and indifference. So that obviously struck a personal chord with me, and I got more irritated. As we walked outside I apologized (between clenched teeth) for the obvious misunderstanding. We briefly talked about it all, and then agreed to move on. I was still pretty pissed though. And I'm sure that shone perfectly through my stellar 'tude the whole time.
2. Our weekly Bible study is on Wednesday evenings at 9PM. Last night after work I ran back home, and by 8:15 I was back in the Turbo Jam saddle again. I knew I was going to be late to the Bible Study if I stayed and exercised, but I didn't care. After all, I'm not the one with the time issues, right? And besides, I thought, the meeting would start late like it usually does every week. So I kicked and punched away for 35 minutes, stopping the workout early to grab a quick shower before heading out the door. I got to the church by 9:30, just in time to catch a couple worship songs before beginning the Bible study. To my surprise, one of the first things discussed during the study was the issue of punctuality and our responsibly carrying out the tasks which we've been assigned within the church.

The tone wasn't accusatory by any means, but it still stung. And it woke me up to the reality that I'd been sporting a pretty stank, I-don't-give-a-crap attitude all week. I've been moody, irritable, quick to fly off the handle and the general tune I've had to sing over the past several days has been none other than complain, complain, complain. About everything.

After talking about this with Chechu last night, I finally stumbled on what's been bothering me all week: I have PMS. For most women that won't sound like big news but in my case, given that I usually don't suffer from the phsycological aspects brought about by PMS, I was finally able to put a name to my problem. After starting birth control at the end of last year, I see how my body has been going through some minor changes, particularly with more frequent-than-usual bouts of moodiness and sensitivity before my period.

At least now I've been able to recognize this new pattern for what it is, and being aware of this (theoretically) should help me control my emotions more instead of allowing them to drag me all over the place. I called Rocío this morning to apologize for how I acted yesterday, and she graciously understood. On the whole, I feel better about how this week is ending-- much better than how it started, that's for sure.