Big Changes...

Over this past week it's really hit me how urgently I need to lose weight and Chechu has also been getting the same signs and regañinas from our church family as well. While I've been told that I've maintained my weight since the wedding (perhaps due to less confianza), I know that I've gained at least a good 10 pounds since I stopped with the pre-wedding diet craze in October. I recognize that my current situation could be alot worse in terms of weight gain (during my freshman year of college for example I put on twenty-five pounds during the first semester, going from 160 to about 185) but regardless of how "good" only gaining 10 pounds in four months is, it's certainly not the lifestyle that I want to continue to lead.

When I had bloodwork done in September, I was horrified to learn that my cholesterol had gotten up to 302. After a month of diet and exercise it was down to 258, and at this point I have no idea where I stand. I'm going on 28 years old and I can no longer take my health so lightly. God has been so patient with me over these years, and I know that I have it in me to get this weight off and live healthy- not just for me but for my family as well.

I haven't weighed myself since the wedding, but I'm guessing that I'm around 215 at this point. This Saturday Chechu and I are supposed to be going to Dorothy Perkins, the European version of Lane Bryant, to pick out some new clothes for me. I felt embarrassed when that was the first store that he suggested we visit. I am SOO tired of looking like this- so tired of hiding behind my frumpy figure. I know that my husband loves me and is attracted to me, but I need that confidence for myself. I don't want to spend another summer dreading to go to the beach in my ugly electric blue bathing suit. It's the only one I have because it's impossible to find any decent, flattering one-piece bathing suits here. I want to feel confident in myself and not worry about whether or not something makes me look fat.

I have to go back to the doctor's in May to have my cholesterol taken again, which gives me three months to get it under control.