Need an early weekend..

I am so not in the mood to be here right now. It's just barely 5:30pm here, and that means three and a half more hours of nothing to do until nine o'clock. While a break from the fast-paced work schedule I've had over the past couple of weeks should be a welcomed change, the fact that I don't have much to do, nor am I in the mood to do anything else makes me all the more aware of what's really been bothering me lately-- the fact that I am overweight and I haven't done a damn thing about it.

Sure it's easy to complain and constantly say that things need to change. It's equally as easy to imagine myself as the thin, gorgeous gal I was always meant to be. But all of that just buckles under the weight of the hypocritical reality that I currently live. I'm sitting here in my office muching on hershey's kisses and Reese's peanut butter cups as I write this, all the while thinking of running past Pepo's tonight after work to buy a pint of Ben & Jerrys. I'd have just enough time to down it all before Chechu gets home and he would never know.. Is that insane or what? Have I reverted back to binging and hiding away all the evidence like I used to do? I feel like this whole thing is spiraling out of control.

I just want to be happy and healthy. I'm tired of all of this back and forth stuff- I need consistency in my life. I need to make the decision once and for all that my health and well being is more important that chocolate. It's really time to get this together.