HYC Update: 223 lbs (-0)

As I mentioned in my previous post, this past week hasn't been my best, although certainly far from being the worst. With the Easter holiday, out-of-town traveling and an annoying case of back pain all wrapped up in seven days, it definitely wasn't a recipe for total success. And that was something I had already seen coming anyway. I cancelled my weigh-in yesterday morning because I just wasn't prepared to face the scale. This morning however, I had to know. I was somewhat surprised to see the same number as last week, 223.0, although I certainly wish it could have been lower.

It's been about a month or so since I started focusing on losing weight again after the wedding. I feel like I need to have a heart-to-heart with myself, to recap where I was, where I am and to remind myself of where I want to be and why I'm doing this in the first place.

Part One: The re-cap

Finishing grad school and planning a wedding simultaneously was a pretty tall order for me last year, in addition to facing all of the other changes that were about to take place in my life. I started grad school at about 215, ballooned up to 240 and then dieted and exercised my way back down to about 225. In March of last year, two months shy of graduation, I bought my wedding gown after several trips to the dress shop and trying on about a dozen differnt gowns. The day I bought the dress I got so motivated seeing my reflection in the mirror. It was a perfect fit, and the accessories that I was going to buy along with it went perfectly together. Not being satisfied with that, I decided to give myself an extra motivational push to lose weight by buying the dress in a 16 instead of the 16W I had tried on.

To make a long story short, I put myself through nothing short of hell that summer trying to get into my wedding gown. Since I had to bring the dress to Spain with me when I moved here, I no longer had access to the bridal shop's seamstress should I have needed to get any alterations done. (Nope, didn't think about that when I bought it.) Thankfully my MIL's best friend is a seamstress and has worked at a bridal shop for many years. As soon as I got here she offered to help me with the gown if I needed to have it taken in or out. For the longest time it looked as if the latter was going to be my reality. Finally, TWO WEEKS before my wedding, I tried the gown on again, and it zipped up perfectly. I still remember hearing the smooth, flawless ziiiiiiip. I cried that day.

On my wedding day I weighed 200 lbs. Since then I have managed to gain back all the hard work I put in over the summer months. That's frustrating..

Part 2: Coming to recognize need to lose
After knowingly gaining some "happy weight," getting through wedding celebration #2 and Christmas break at home, I came back to Almería feeling the need to get my act together weight-wise, for my health's sake. My family suffers from a plethora of weight-related health conditions, and I do not want to continue down that road. I choose my health and well-being over sweet, greasy indulgences that will only lead to illnesses and heart conditions. I want to be here to enjoy and cherish everything that God has given me and all that is to come in my future.

My health is seriously my main motivation to get this weight off. At one point I just wanted to look better in cute clothes and swim suits for summer. But, that isn't my sole motivator anymore. In fact, looking good is just another byproduct of being healthy. I'm not aiming for the byproducts anymore because I know they'll come as a result of me focusing on my health.

With that said, I plan to update my goals and plans with this whole thing. As I said in an earlier post, I need to make goals based on things I can control.

So here's to a new week of new beginnings and a new focus.